i'm sick....blah blah blah

so my house is messy. yep. messy messy messy. my clothes are backed up.

can you guess what's happened? i've been sick. I HATE BEING SICK.

who, exactly, is supposed to take care of the mom when she's sick? no one. My wonderful husband did let me sleep after he got home from work, but after that, i was on my own. he had to go to bed. i felt so bad. i was scared i was getting the flu, but i guess not. THANK GOD! because i feel so much better today.

well...actually my back hurts and i still feel crappy, but i feel much better compared to yesterday.

today is the last full day before christmas vacation. the kids go for half a day tomorrow and then that's it. they are out until next year. i will probably lose my mind. hubby is still going to try to stick to the schedule which means i will get up and he will go to bed around eight. that's fine. it's just harder when all four of them are here.

and i see you looking at me. "and you want to adopt another one??" you ask.

yes. yes i do.

it isn't about me "having another one." it isn't because we hastily made the decision to not have any more children. we didn't. we know we don't want anymore babies. that much is decided. i want to be done with that. but i do want to bring another child into my home so that we can make his life better, and i believe with us doing that, that he will be making ours better too.

i'm not a saint. i'm not crazy.

i've always heard this saying and i believe it, although at times i am thinking He has way too much faith in me...but i have heard "God doesn't call the qualified, he qualifies the called." and that's it. i feel like this is what God wants me to do. simple as that. it's up to Him to help me out with the rest.

so here we are....

well, i'm going to start another blog. i start these things all of the time, and then i eventually just quit writing. i get bored, or i forget my password, or i forget the name of the blog. anyway, i usually don't stick with it. but i'm going to try to stick with it this time.

there is lots of stuff going on now, so i'm not promising that i will blog every day. but i'm going to try. i used to write in a journal everyday, but that's private. so i don't know what all i'm going to say in this blog. i guess whatever comes out. so get ready. i might offend, i might amuse, i might...bore you to tears. but it's mine. so i can say whatever i want to. and if you stumble across this blog and you don't like it, then you can leave and not come back.

i guess for this blog entry though, i will tell you a little about myself. as you can see from the title, i'm a stay at home mom (well..not that part) of four kids. two of them are in school and then i am home with the smaller two everyday. i also just returned to school to get a bachelors degree in psychology. i have been married to my husband for almost four years, but we've been together basically for 5. we have two daughters together. they are 3 and one. and i was married straight out of high school, and have two kids with my ex-husband. they are a girl, 10, and a boy, 7. me and my ex kinda, sorta, get along. but we have our days, that's for sure.

we are also in the process of adopting. we are going to our orientation to get that started this friday. so i'm sure this blog will have a little bit of that in here too. i'm a little nervous about it. not sure what to expect. i just know that we are doing this, and i'm excited, and i can't wait to bring our son home, wherever he is.

i am a christian. i love God and believe that Jesus is my savior. But that is something i don't talk about alot. I know that other people have different beliefs, and that is fine with me. i have an eclectic group of friends. but i have one very best friend. (besides my hubby).

i'm 29..and i'm not scared of turning thirty. i don't really care. i sometimes i pretend i do, but just because that's the thing you are supposed to do once you turn 29. so i play along sometimes.

some boring...weird facts about me....

we have two dogs...and i want more.
i hate mirrors.
we take LOTS of pictures of just nothing at all.
i wanted to be a mortician when i was younger..and i still would, but the schools are to far away.
i'm bipolar (but this doesn't mean i'm insane..i've never stolen a car, or hurt anyone)
i have very strong views about things that touch my life in some way.
i have boring brown hair and eyes.
i have no ass. (literally..my ass is flat)
i don't like the cold.
i don't like the extreme heat, either.
i hate opossums.
i hate mice (in my house...pet mice are ok)
i love tulips and roses.
i LOVE the color pink.
i love cows.
i love potato salad and chocolate pie (but not at the same time).
i love candles.
i am a pessimist. (i say i'm just irritatingly realistic)
i LOVE to read.
i love star wars.
i love stupid movies like airplane and the naked gun.
i love alternative music.
i HATE pictures of me.

that's about it. the more i think of, the more i'll let you know. not sure anyone is going to read this. but oh well. at least i'll have somewhere to put my thougts down. i'm not sure i would read this blog. but i probably would. because i know literary art when i read it. haha just kidding. sorta.